Do You Ever Lose It With Your Kids?

Of course, I'm not asking anyone to admit in the comment section that they've lost it with their kids.

But, let's be honest—we all do it. And so, I offer you grace, dear homeschooling moms. It is not easy to live 24/7 with your little sinners. And some days you just want to scream. Or have your head checked for ever deciding to homeschool in the first place. 

One of the biggest challenges to homeschooling is being a nice mom. Especially when you have little (or not so little) children giving you grief for having to "do school," even after a holiday week off (that maybe was not a planned week off, but happened because you got sick).

This is a big job we have, teaching our children. Not just because we are educating them in math and science, etc., but because we are trying to instruct them in righteousness. And that means we need to watch our walk.

Because our kids are sponges, and we've all probably seen the lovely poster hanging somewhere (in your own home, maybe?) that tells how kids learn what they live. (No pressure there.)

My dear friend and fellow homeschooling mom told me once that someone is always in emotional control of a situation. When you lose it, you give the control to your kids.

"Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a [homeschooling mom] who has no control over [her] spirit," (Proverbs 25:28 NASB, brackets mine).

Like the cities in biblical times, we need strong walls to protect our emotional state, or our kids will break us down and wear us out. Next thing we know, we are screaming and yelling. And maybe throwing or slamming things. Then the tears come and guilt sets in and everything is a mess.

What makes for strong walls? Time with the Lord. If you are jumping into your school day and not making time to sit with Jesus before you get going, then you are not prepared for your day. Even if things go "as planned," your homeschool journey is more than ticking off the lessons on your daily to-do list.

"The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps," (Proverbs 16:9, NASB).

 This can be an especially difficult time of year, with the busyness of the holidays and the rush to finish first semester lesson plans. But time with the Lord will help us to have balance, and more importantly, to keep our cool.

"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue," (Proverbs 31:26 NASB).

And remember, even "bad" days with your kids are opportunities for learning (for your kids and you!).


Linking up with others at

Can't Get No Satisfaction?

One of the fun and amazing benefits of homeschooling is the things you learn while you study the material you are teaching your children. 

I checked out a great book from our local library (and I may purchase it for our own) called, "The Way We Work -- Getting to Know the Amazing Human Body," by David Macaulay. This is a reference book with great pictures drawn by the author, which break down very small parts -- like the atom -- into (relatively) understandable pieces.

I was struck by some of the language while reading this section about building atoms:

     "Left to their own devices, most kinds of atoms will contain the same number of electrons and protons . . .it is the attraction between positive (protons) and negative (neutrons) charges that holds an atom together.

     "Electrons travel around the nucleus in specific orbits called shells. Each shell can hold only a certain number of electrons, and as each one reaches capacity, a new one is formed . . .

     "When the outermost shell of an atom is full and there are no more electrons to place, that particular atom is said to be stable. This is not usually the case...Most atoms...spend their lives continually seeking fulfillment."  (page 19, emphasis mine)

Here is one of the most basic components of our body, too small to be seen by the naked eye, and if it had its way, it would make sure it was satisfied. Yet it is always seeking to be fulfilled.

If tiny particles in my body are not satisfied, is it any wonder that I struggle to be fulfilled with my life -- what I have, what I eat, who I am?

We will never be content without the indwelling of the Spirit of God, through the saving power of Jesus Christ in our life. As the psalmist says:

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth," (Psalm 73:25 NASB).

And speaking of science-y things, the THESIS Science Fair is this year!

I know it is early, but I'm mentioning it because Jessica Peterman, who is teaching the middle school class some fun and exciting Mythbusters-based science, has created a timeline to keep the fair from sneaking up on you!

This is for the middle school class, but it could be used by anyone. Just click here to get a copy you can download.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

If you are glad the school year is done, please don't feel guilty. And if someone has told you they are doing school all through summer, please don't feel tempted to copy them.

As we all go down the lane of our homeschooling journey, every family--every teacher-mom--will take a different approach, even if using the same curriculum as someone else. We all have our own personalities and our children have theirs. To try to copy another mom, to exactly (and perfectly) pattern your homeschool adventure after someone else's, is a recipe for disaster (or at least burnout).

Here's a great devotional that I read today. While not specifically about homeschooling, I think each of us can relate to what the author wrote and will be encouraged. Click here to read it.


On another note, the THESIS end-of-year picnic at the DeRoos homestead is coming up on Monday, May 28th (weather permitting). If you are planning to come, please be sure to bring the following:

--chair(s)
--a side dish
--a dessert

If you have any questions, please give Liz a call at 304.657.1354.

Have a great day!

Standing Firm and Letting Go

"Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary," (Galatians 6:9 NASB).

I read a Proverbs 31 devotional for today, which talked about doing things alone, or feeling like you are alone. This part caught my attention:

"I’ve sat in frustration rather than standing firm. I know what weary feels like when it seems my efforts aren’t making a significant difference. I’ve felt cornered rather than like a conqueror."

Sounds like it could be a homeschooling devotional, doesn't it? Have you ever felt this way? I have. I've felt frustrated, and I've given up on days when things just aren't doing according to my plan, especially when the kids are frustrated, too. On days like that, it feels like I'm not making the difference in their lives that I want to make through homeschooling. Then I tend to feel all alone and I assume that everyone else has it all together and they are doing fine.

The truth is, we all struggle. There will always be tough days, even after you've been doing this for many years. But, if we stand firm in our faith, we will see results because the beauty of sowing and reaping is that you reap a huge harvest compared to the volume of seeds that you plant. God promises.

Here's one thing that will help you tremendously--don't compare yourself to others! When you start thinking thoughts like, "I'm not good enough...I don't do enough...I'm not smart enough..." you have to ask yourself: compared to what? Or, better yet, compared to whom? If you are comparing yourself to other people, other homeschooling moms, you are destined to feel inadequate. Just like there are bound to be gaps because no one can cover EVERY subject thoroughly (even public schools), there is no one person who does it all thoroughly and perfectly. There are areas of your housekeeping that need to slide, areas of school that won't be addressed every year. And that's okay!

Today's tip for dealing with perfectionism -- make a chore list for your kids (those old enough to walk) and let them all help you with the house. Just let them do it! If your son or daughter does a hit and miss job of sweeping the carpets every day, that's better than one thorough vacuuming once a week! Plus, they are learning!

Pray and ask God to show you ways in which you can relax your control around the home. The tension of trying to do everything right all the time really does effect your sense of worth. You are not valued based on the amount you can check off your daily to-do list. You are valued because you are a precious child of God made in His image. Let it go!

Life Schooling

"In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus,"

(1 Thessalonians 5:18).

One of the great things about homeschooling is the opportunity to capture so many teaching moments--those times when life experiences are the best teachers. Think of it as the difference between "theory" and "practice." Things will often seem easy to implement "in theory" but are actually much harder when put into practice. Thus the beauty of all-day, hands-on teaching of our children.

Such a teaching moment manifested for us Saturday evening when a pickup truck plowed into the back of our van. We were stopped while waiting for the car two ahead of us to make a left turn. The truck came flying up behind us and hit us hard enough to open the inside cover of our moon roof and knock both side mirrors out of alignment.

I was driving because my husband had just finished working, and the kids and I decided to go to Lowe's with him since we hadn't seen him all day. We were all tired, and hot, and obviously having a car accident wasn't in our plans.

When the truck hit us, Sara (who was in the third-row passenger seat, where the impact was) immediately burst into tears and said, "Ow, my back hurts!" That obviously scared me.

Our children, as always, were watching us. How did we handle this? What words did we say, what actions did they see? What were we more concerned about--our safety or the condition of the car? I think we did a good job responding in a Christ-like manner. My husband's first words to the driver of the car that hit us were, "Are you okay?" I was (am) proud of him.

God tells us to give thanks for everything. I just finished reading Corrie Ten Boom's story, The Hiding Place, to my children. She inspired me by going through the depravity of the Nazi death camp that she was in, yet still being thankful to God for everything-- even the fleas in her barracks.

Homeschooling is often an imperfect mess. We are human, and we will fail as we attempt to teach things to our children. There will be gaps (just like in the public education system!), there will be tough subjects to teach, tough days to get through. But, if we remember to always thank God for every day, and each moment--no matter how stressful or inconvenient--we will teach our children about God's Sovereignty, which is more imporant than anything they'll ever learn from a textbook.

Above Rubies Devotional: Order in the Home

“According to all that I show you, that is, the pattern of the tabernacle and the pattern of all its furnishings, just so you shall make it” (Exodus 25:9, 40; Hebrews 8:5).

God has given to women the privilege and responsibility of being the manager of their home. We have as an important a task as the manager of any business. Just as a business can’t run well without order, nor can a home. I don’t know about you, but I can’t run my home efficiently without some order. Here are a few of my thoughts.

O ORGANIZATION

One of my favorite sayings is, “Things don’t just happen; you have to make them happen.” We cannot make our home run efficiently unless we organize. This will be different in every home. Some women are high-powered organizers; others are laid back. Whatever our personality, we must have a certain amount of organization. The blatant fact is that if you just let life happen, chaos eventuates! You must plan your meals, make sure supper is ready in time for your husband coming home each evening, organize your cleaning and laundry, and of course, train your children to do their specific tasks. To organize a home does not mean that you are a slave in the home. You are the organizer, making it happen by getting everyone involved. (1 Timothy 5:14).

R ROUTINE

A routine keeps order in the home. In our home I expect everyone to be up in time for breakfast. We have our Family Devotions at 8.00 am. Anyone who has not finished their breakfast before this time misses out on breakfast. It is over. We can’t keep meals going all day. We have to clean up and get on with the day. We have lunch at a certain time and supper at a certain time. I am aghast when I hear of mothers allowing their children, and especially their teens, to sleep in and get up whenever they want. This is poor training and does not prepare them for life. It does not prepare them for a career and how to get to work on time and does not prepare daughters for running a home. Children should learn to get up at a certain time. The day is for work and adventure, the night is for sleeping! (Proverbs 6:6-11; 13:4; 24:3-34; 26:14).

Of course, children need their sleep, but if they cannot get up in the morning they are obviously going to bed too late the night before. I am still old fashioned enough to believe in the old adage, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

However, in saying this, I don’t believe in legality and rigidity either, and allow everyone to sleep in in the weekends. I don’t enjoy sleeping in myself, but am happy to give everyone else that privilege. And also there are different seasons in life and things change when a new little baby comes into the home.

D DISCIPLINE

Order can only happen with discipline, firstly in our own lives and then teaching it to our children. We also must try to get to bed at a reasonable hour so we can get up early and be ready to face the day—to prepare breakfast, put in a load of laundry, organize schooling and each child to their various tasks.

One of my best disciplines in regard to cleaning is my weekly Preparation Day. Every Friday we clean the whole house from top to bottom. Cleaning once a week keeps the home in good shape. (Luke 23:54).

E ENCOURAGEMENT

Keeping a home running smoothly is easier said than done! Children lag behind. They disobey and complain. But they’ll get tired of you nagging. Inspire and encourage your children instead. When you train your young children you may need to use some “carrots” to get them motivated. You will have your different ideas that work in your family. However, you may want to print up a schedule on the fridge. Each child who is up on time each morning gets a star. Each child who does their appointed task without complaining gets a star. The one who gets the most stars at the end of the week gets a prize—something worthwhile. This gives them incentive and encouragement to do what is right and to get into the habit of doing it.

R RESISTANCE

Resisting what? I’m talking about resisting the resistance that comes from your children and teens. They may want to keep sleeping. They will naturally be lazy. They will muddle around instead of doing their chores. Don’t give in! Keep up your plan. Keep the order until it is a habit in the home. Training doesn’t happen in a day. It takes time, but it will become a habit if you are consistent and don’t give in! (Isaiah 28:9-10).

However, in the midst of keeping order, we must also have freedom; freedom to change our plans if something special is happening; to halt our schedule if someone needs help or arrives at our home and needs encouragement, or freedom to do something unexpected and different, just for the spice of life. Keeping a basic sense of order in the home gives freedom to do fun things. If your home is out of order, you will not have a springboard on which to jump off and do something different.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“I thank you, dear Father, that you are a God of order. Please teach me how to keep order in my home just as you have order in your heavenly home. Amen."

AFFIRMATION:

The beauty of my home is order!

Parenting with Scripture

This is an excellent book to use in teaching godly character traits to your children. The topics are in alphabetical order ranging from anger to worry (and there is an indexed list, as well), with key symbols that mark familiar Bible passages, such as a cluster of grapes for fruit of the Spirit.

Each topic starts off with a basic definition, and then lists four to six applicable scriptures for memorization. There are a few discussion questions, followed by "Take Action," points--ways to apply scripture to the issue being covered.

I've used this book many times in the several years since I bought it, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in working on discipline issues, or for use as a type of Bible-based devotional.

You can find this book at ChristianBook.com as a paperback or an e-book.

Blessings,
Selena